Shrek x Donkey
by CrazyTrainMan
Summary: Shrek finds a donkey in his swamp. And other stupid creatures. Shrek just wants them out of his swamp but finds that he can't say no ;)
1. Shrek, the Swamp, and a wandering donkey

It was a beautifully ogretastic day in Shrek's swamp. He was having the usual shit and piss in the toilet, wiped his ass with his hands and went to the most amazing place ever in his swamp. The mud bath.  
Shrek took off all of his clothes and jumped into the mud. He splashed and wallowed in the mud like the typical green ogre he is. He wiped and slapped the orgasmic brown mud onto his naked, green body, shoving the mushy shit-like mud down his ear-holes and honking them out.  
Then he heard the stupid riot people that go on marches and campaigns to get rid of the beautiful ogres that inhabit the forest. _Those little shits are missing out,_ the big green ogre machine thought to himself, slapping more mud on his beautiful, envy-worthy body.  
The typical human shits stopped and stared at the mud bath, and at Shrek, with pitchforks and fire sticks, screaming and jeering at the poor, lonely green ogre that only wanted to live in his swamp in peace.  
Shrek got out of his mud bath, furiously mad that he'd have to leave his muddy haven, and stomped up to the shit-heads with mud dripping down his fat body.  
"This is _MY SWAMP!"_ Shrek bellowed at them, glaring at them with big, beautifully dazzling brown eyes.  
This was enough to scare the ranting midgets off, they dropped their weapons and ran off. Shrek picked up the dirty weapons and threw the rubbish away from his swamp and at the running piles of human. They still ran, they were really scared of the poor defensive ogre. _And never come back,_ the ogre thought to himself.  
Just as he was about to go back to his swamp, he heard a yell and a hee-haw coming from deeper in the forest. This intrigued the green-bean to go to it.  
He walked deeper into the forest and found a donkey trembling behind a tree. The humans weren't far off and there was a pitch fork lying near the donkey. The donkey was sniffling like a baby and lowered it's head.  
Shrek's ogre instincts were telling him to fuck the homeless, handicapped donkey, but he told himself not to. He inspected the donkey's body instead, staring at his eggplant, then his face, then the small scratch on the donkey's ass.  
After debating about what was the most ogre thing to do, the green giant went back to his swamp and slept for the night.

He woke up to something warm licking his pudgy face. He got up suddenly and found the homeless donkey standing on top of him, smiling with his tongue out.  
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU DONKEY!" Shrek screamed, throwing off the donkey with his sumo-wrestler-like ability, and slammed the donkey down on the ground. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" The ogre screamed again angrily.  
The donkey was about to cry again. _Such a fucking sensitive creature,_ the ogre thought to himself.  
"Well..." The donkey began, "I don't have anywhere else to go to... And those humans are going to sell me to a bloody circus once they find out that I talk..." Then the donkey jumped up, "CAN I LIVE HERE WITH YOU?"  
Immediately the triggered ogre bellowed back, "NO, GET OUT OF MY SWAMP.", grabbed the donkey with his massive, powerful ogre hands and threw him out of his bungalow. "FUCK OFF." He yelled again before slamming the door shut.  
"Pretty please?!" The donkey pleaded through the window, smiling with a mouth as wide as a stupid clown.  
"No." The ogre replied, frustrated.  
"Please?"  
"No."  
"Please with sugar on the top?"  
"NO."  
"FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY, I'll just wander around your swamp like a lonely, poor, homeless donkey... All alone..."  
Then Shrek got an idea, and he wasn't about to let the lonely donkey wander off just yet.


	2. Ogre on Donkey shit

"Donkey." The green ogre says, calling out for the retarded, dopey donkey. "I desperately want to fuck you."  
The donkey stares at the green giant for a while, until breaking into a cheeky grin. "Only if you let me live here."  
The dumb ogre had to think about this because he didn't want some dirty donkey to be messing up his swamp. Plus, the donkey is really annoying, and waking up all those mornings with a fat hairy donkey licking his face would be the death of him. When the humans come by in their fucking tour bus, they'll see the defenceless donkey and go over to stroke him. That's when they step into Shrek's beautiful, pristine swamp, and get their fucking clean feet all over his homeland. _I WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN,_ the ogre says to himself.  
"Come on inside, little one." The ogre calls, sounding like a paedophile, luring the kid into his van. "We're going to have fun."  
"What game are we gonna play?!" The excited little donkey yells out, wagging his shrunken tail about.  
"Oh... We're gonna play... Ogres and Donkeys."  
"Never heard of that, man."  
"Well you're gonna be hearing it all night." The ogre says in his menacing Scottish accent.  
As soon as the gullible donkey stepped in and the door was shut, the donkey rapist took his chance and followed his ogre instincts.  
He pinned down the donkey to the ground, felt the bungalow rumble with his ogrepowerful strength, and breathed seductively in the donkey's face.  
"I WANT TO FUCK YOU SO BAD." The ogre moans all over.  
"Go ahead then, Shrek." The donkey says submissively, on the edge of tears because all the poor donkey wanted was a home.

This was too much sexual abuse for the donkey. Donkey didn't like it when green giants would stare at his eggplant. That was enough for one day for the innocent donkey. But then he's lured into a donkey rapists' bungalow, cor blimey, because he was being so fucking stupid.  
Donkey was having enough of his day, he was about to give up. First off in his day, he woke up to a Rumplestiltskin, one that would ask him, " _DO YOU LIKE WINE?_ " but obviously he didn't answer, otherwise the witch lady next to him would take him to slammer, where he would never live another day to hee-haw at orgasmic grass. Grass made him so fucking horny that he could become a rhino.  
When the Rumple got too annoying, the donkey yelled, "SHUT UP MAN I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING WINE I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!" then the bitchy witch took it from there.  
How did the donkey escape, it's simple really, the guards were all humans and green giants, they were all mesmerised by his eggplant so they didn't care when he ran away. "He's gonna get so far in the porn world." Sobbed Farquaad when the donkey ran off.  
When the donkey had ran off, he saw a tour bus full of human midgets with weapons. Scared, the short-legged donkey hid behind a tree, shivering.  
Then a pitchfork flew into donkey's view, and cut his ass cheek. The donkey took this as a chance to rub his ass on the grass, this made the donkey horny.  
Then the donkey was found by an ogre ready to fuck.

The ogrepowering ogre slid off his tight-sexy-gay leggings and did the ogre deed to the donkey.  
"AaaAaAAAAahhHHHhh!" The donkey cried in surprise, feeling the eggplant digging him in.  
The ogre thrust as fast as he could, the friction making the donkey break. The ogre bellowed a mighty ogre roar.  
"I'm never gonna stop." The ogre whispers in the donkey's ear hole, licking out his wax. The donkey was about to cry. "I'm gonna fuck you all night."  
All night...

The next day...


End file.
